The most difficult question I have been asked this year was from my mother, on Saturday 21st December, sat in a little river side cafe on the Lewes high-street in Sussex. My parents and I had decided to meet up for lunch before going to the Christmas market.
Whilst we all ordered our tea, I asked the waiter if it were possible to have soya milk with mine. Without so much as a hesitation, my wish was granted and less than a minute later a rather cute miniature (soya) milk jug joined us at the table. My mum then asked me why I had decided to cut out dairy as well as meat. My dad interjected and said "because vegan means no meat or dairy", as if this simplified statement was somehow self explanatory as to my motivations. Which was actually quite annoying, as I wished it really were that simple.
It is well known that vegetarians and vegans make meat eaters uncomfortable. The mere presence of a vegetarian at the dinner table can be enough to spark defensive behaviour, negative questioning and judgement (Jabs et al. 2000; Rothgerber 2014). It's theorized that vegetarians act as a reminder to meat eaters that animals are sentient; therefore making it difficult to dissociate, avoid or deny animal pain (Rothgerber 2014). Interestingly, it is less psychologically threatening to meat eaters if vegans claim to have a medical condition that does not allow for the consumption of animal products than to admit it is out of moral choice (Greenebaum 2012). But of course, as a vegan, your physical health will be picked apart as well. Inevitably you will be considered too weak, pasty and tired due to the lack of protein, iron and vitamin B12. There appears to be a fine line between polite curiosity and rude public shaming, a line that for some reason only meat eaters are permitted to cross at the dinner table.
Why is it considered rude to ask "why do you eat dismembered body parts?"
It can also be perceived as a loaded question when someone asks why you avoid animal products. Where do you start? Animal advocacy? Environmental concern? Health benefits? A challenge to the dualistic falsehood of speciesist discourse? I wish I could say that any of these factors were at the forefront of my social anxiety on this occasion. Yet the real reason I found the question difficult was because I felt like an imposter. I felt unworthy of the ethical podium that I had apparently placed myself on in my rejection of the status quo. Why? Because I haven't always chosen to avoid eating animals. Does this mean I am a less ethically minded or committed person?
I have been vegetarian (and vegan) before. Vegetarian for eight years, followed by vegan for two. I did not do it well. I did not research nutrition. At the time, most restaurants and cafes wouldn't dare prepare something vegan, it was simply too abstract to comprehend. After spending most of my life without meat or appropriate substitutes, I began craving the flesh I had vowed to avoid. I craved meat despite not knowing what it tasted like. Although it was a distressing realisation, I felt I needed to listen to my body. I was also a little bored of the societal fight: living on the margins of acceptable food choices and having my morals constantly prodded and poked at by strangers until I couldn't see how my own actions could ever make a difference.
I was jealous of the freedom that came with living in ignorance.
Before I threw in my ethical towel, I decided I needed to earn the right to eat animals. So I quit my job and went to volunteer for the summer on farms. My intention was to care for animals that were being reared for slaughter. If I could do that, I told myself, then maybe I could live with myself for eating meat. Without even realising it, that was one of my first forays into the anthrozoological world, experiencing and studying the human-animal interactions that shape our society. The next ten years I did eat meat on and off, though it was less and less as time went on.
On later reflection of my mums innocent question, I realised the reason for my (again) dietary U-turn was actually very simple: As with meat, excuses also have their expiry date. Veganism has hit the mainstream. Food and drinks retailers are now competing in their investment into plant based products in order to keep up with public demand. Greggs offer vegan sausage rolls, the meat industry is financially backing genetically constructed lab-grown meat and high street cafe's stock enough plant based milk varieties to rival their blends of coffee beans.
It is getting increasingly harder to justify eating meat and dairy when there are so many alternatives to choose from.
Unfortunately hind-site is a wonderful thing, and I hadn't quite had this epiphany as to my moral standing when my mum asked why I was going back to being vegan. I didn't want to make her feel guilty, I already felt like a fraud. So what did I do? I panicked. I told her about dairy farming practices. Although I tried my best to be as factual and unemotional as possible, the response was clear. Looking horrified by my answer, she sarcastically thanked me for putting her off her food (but not literally apparently).
References:
Greenebaum, J.B., 2012. Managing Impressions: “Face-Saving” Strategies of Vegetarians and Vegans. Humanity & society, 36(4), pp.309-325.
Jabs, J., Sobal, J. and Devine, C.M., 2000. Managing vegetarianism: Identities, norms and interactions. Ecology of food and nutrition, 39(5), pp.375-394.
Rothgerber, H., 2014. Efforts to overcome vegetarian-induced dissonance among meat eaters. Appetite, 79, pp.32-41.
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